That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
