I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
