your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
