I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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