He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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