Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
