how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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