Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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