I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
