tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
