is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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