it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Gay?
German.
Pity.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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