Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
