I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
