so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
