wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
