Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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