so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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