I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
zippers are such a cool invention
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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