Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
