TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
