Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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