week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
