those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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