i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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