btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
