Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize