Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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