to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
