she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
