No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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