Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I've blown a few things in my day
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
