I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
