It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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