this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
