So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
