I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
