Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
