I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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