There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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