New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
