Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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