okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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