Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
