i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
