You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
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