At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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