I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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