Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
