drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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