btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
