So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
