marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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