Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
