I accidentally had phone sex last night
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
vagina is talking i cant
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
