your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
