the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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