It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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