and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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